Today was definetly not a good day to die.
My sister called me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to Kenny's with her and the kids that came up for the holiday. She picked me up and is extremely down. That son of a bitch she lives with has been on her again. I haven't seen her since Christmas day at Kenny's house. She left and I was supposed to go over to her house but she got sick on the way home and called me. She told me not to come over because she didn't want to take a chance of me catching whatever it was. Well, I have been so tired all week and falling asleep in my recliner early in the evening. Well, apparently she thought I was mad at her.
At that point I had to point out the stop sign she was going to run. Well, as she attempted to stop her can of tea went flying out of her lap and onto the floor. I asked her if she wanted me to drive and she said no, that she just needed to stop talking and focus. So we drive in silence for a few minutes and then she asks me how things are going for me. So I tell her about spending Christmas eve with Alex, my being so tired this week and my trauma of HR telling me at work that they have lost my tuition reimbursement paperwork from last semester. Then she starts talking about all the crap going on with her and what happens? She runs another stop sign only this time there was traffic coming. After I calm down from my life flashing before my eyes I ask her again if she wants me to drive. Again she says no. When we get to her ex's house to pick up the kids she takes the keys with her.
The kids come out and we follow them into town and they need to stop and get gas. Sis and I get into a fight on the way. She is upset with her other son and daughter-in-law. They sent her a Christmas gift but didn't send andything for Bruce. So I tell her that she needs to say something. But she doesn't want to do that. She thinks if she tells them to just not send her any more gifts they will figure out why. Now, she had just been telling me about Bruce being angry with his family but he won't stand up to them and say anything. Instead he takes it out on her. Apparently, it pissed her off when I told her that she was doing the same thing that she was just bitching about him doing. Well, now she's doing the same thing to me. She did then apologize for what she said to me.Then when we pull into the parking lot for the gas station so guy starts to pull out in front of her. She goes off about people not paying attention. Really????
The kids decide to go through McDonald's. When we get there they are on the inside. So instead of parking and waiting for them to come out we have to go inside. By the time we do that, they are now back in the care and pulling out. We get back into the car and she backs out. Would you like to take a guess what happened? Crash! She has now backed into a car. On the upside, she backed into the kids. Her son went ballistic. So they have words in the parking lot, then she gets back in the car and tells me to take her home. He goes to the car to apologize and ends up screaming again. Of course all of this is productive. So he drives her out to Kenny's and I ride with his wife.
Well, while out at Kenny's I filled him on some of what has been going on. Teresa is still really upset about everything that has happened. Some of us then end up playing football on Kenny's Xbox. Then she ends up getting sick. The kids had left and Kenny and I was now playing Xbox. When we finish our game I tell him that I need to get her home. Teresa has decided that I can just drop her off and take her car home. As we go to leave, I tell Teresa that I need the car keys. She left her coat and keys in the house and the door is locked. She pulls out her spare set and says she'll just get them later.
We also had words at Kenny's. I don't know what the hell is going on but Teresa is convinced that all of this is being caused by mom. I've mentioned before how vindictive mom could be. She says she let mom down. When I asked how she got pissed and said it was her secret and no one would understand. I just walked out of the house.
As we are going through town I have to pull over so she can puke. She has apologized again for upsetting me. Fortunately she slept most of the way to her house. When she goes to get out of the car I tell her, "I'm only going to say this once because if you don't listen the first time you won't listen if I repeat it. I know you and that son of a bitch in the house better than anyone else in the family. You are never going to get well until you decide you deserve better. You have to decide that you want to be healthy. You have to decide that he is not good for you and he needs to go away. " She hugged me, kissed me and told me that she loved me.
I don't know how much more I can take. I have been her support system for over a year now. I have done everything I can to to be there for her and keep her balanced. I feel like I'm just going to explode. If I talk to Mel all I'm going to get is a lot of faith shit. Steph's no help, she doesn't seem to be compassionate when it comes to me. I've go no one.
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