Well, I made it through dinner. Guess who was the first person there. You guessed it, Ray. Not only did I have to talk to him when I got there but we ended up seated next to each other. We also were the only 2 single people there. I played nice. He told me how happy he was that I went back to school. Apparently he thinks I give a shit when it comes to him. I don't miss him, need him or want him in my life. I will be friendly because of Steph but other than that, to hell with him.
It was an ok night I guess. Again, I felt on the outside looking in. It makes me ask myself, "Is it me that is causing this feeling?" I think the answer is at least partly yes. I think part of the problem is that in larger groups I begin to question myself. There are times and people that I am more comfortable letting the "man" in me flourish and then there are times like tonight where I wonder if people simply see me as a joke. It doesn't help when Mel and her husband are there. She made the comment after we split that she fell in love with a woman that was more man then some of the men we know.
Then I came home and attempted to watch wrestling but it just didn't seem to grab my attention. So after playing on facebook for awhile I moved to my email. I ended up on one the of the dating sites I frequent. After looking at profiles I have to wonder about the women on there. Do they have no respect for themselves? You see pictures of women in see-through body suits, their underwear and making crude hand gestures. I also do not understand this fascination with taking a picture of yourself in the bathroom and in the bathroom with your foot propped on the toilet. Really? That is the first impression you want to make? And the profile names, "Lickmebooty". OMG, what quality of person are you looking for?
This I do know. The women with those profiles are not the one's for me.
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