Telling more people in the work place

Today was a big day.  I had a meeting with my dept manager and my team leader.  They both have known me for over 7 years.  I felt it was going to be an interesting meeting.  I had told them that I had something personal that I needed to discuss with the.  Now my manager is probably 15 years or so younger than I am (probably more) and my team leader is probably 10 years or so order than I am.

Their reactions were much like everyone else's that I have told.  They were happy and enthusiastic.  My team leader even said "cool".  They both like the new name.  Tonight my manager even sent me a text message with quote that made her think of me and the journey that I am on.  The quote was, "It's impossible to consistently live inconsistently to what you really believe."  She then proceeded to tell me how happy she was for me and that she was proud of me.  It felt kind of funny since she is so much younger than I am but the support is great.

Now for the down moment......

I have a friend/family member that I have known for over 40 years.  I have known her since I was 3 years old.  I show up at her house and she does not look happy to see me.  I had called her and told her about my brother and told her to call me if she wanted.  She didn't call.  I wanted to see her so I could also tell her about my changes.  I have never felt uncomfortable around her in my life and today I truly felt unwanted at her house.  She really kind of blew what I had to say off.  The only question she had to ask had to do with sex.  Really? I tell you something like this and that is what you ask?

Then I find out that she has been upset with me for over a year now.  Apparently she misunderstood what I said last year when mom died.  I told her that we had talked about it and wanted to let her know that there wouldn't be a problem if she wished to come.  She took it as we discussed whether or not she would be "allowed" to come if she wanted to come.  That was not what I meant.  When our other brother died our oldest brother called her and told her not to come.  What I meant was that there would not be a repeat of her being disrespected by being told not to come.  I was floored.  To me that would be cruel and for someone that has known me that long to think that I would do that hurt, badly.  It took everything I had not to let the tears flow.  When I left I felt shoved out the door.  I guess we will see where this goes.

After I left there, I went to the cemetery.  Normally that gives me a sense of peace but not today.  I ended up at Alex's house and they cheered me up a little.  Tomorrow is a new day and I will not let this sadness carry over.  This time in my life is to new and exciting.  I am not letting this feeling go!