I am down to 73 days until my surgery. My friends and the people that love me are so indulgent of my countdown. I like seeing their comments and likes on my Facebook page. Even though some of the people on my friends list are not people that I speak too often I still feel fortunate that they are willing to share this experience with me.
I had a friend, whom has not spoken to me in 2 years, ask me that if this change is to the true me then why do I keep reminding people of it and hence the old me. The example he used was dropping his first name and moving forward with just his middle name. I found it interesting that even he said that was a bad example. I talked to Mel about it since she has known him as long as I have. It was her opinion that he was jealous. At first I didn't understand what he had to be jealous of. She reminded me of his MS and that his disease makes it hard for him to move forward and his growth is limited.
For me it is simple. I share the steps and my experiences of my transition because I want to show others that they can be who they are. I want people to know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. I want to educate people and help people to lose their fear of the unknown. After my surgery I want to get more involved with TransOhio. It felt good when I mentioned my idea to Mel and Steph that they thought I would be good at that.
I think as I move forward I am feeling stronger and more like I am on the right path for me. I don't know what is in store for me. I just know that I am doing what I need to do for me. I am becoming the person that has stayed hidden in the shadows for so long. I don't know when the right woman will come into my life but I know she is out there. The one that knows me and loves me for me.
For now however, I am going to enjoy the quiet of my sanctuary. I'm going to read, play video games, watch movies. I'm going to go to the park, and anything else I feel like doing because it makes me feel good. I'm going to enjoy my family, my old friends and the new friends I make and have made.
I think the Trans Ohio involvement would be great for you because they are SO involved with the trans man movement-to the point they may have more guys than girls influencing the group. At last weekend's Symposium, many of the "professional" therapists mentioned how trans guys seem to be really "coming out of the woodwork" now and more understanding needs to be documented on the changes of "T" on FtM's!
ReplyDelete"Shane Morgan" is one of the top trans men involved.
Don't take this the wrong way but now may be the time to break out of your shell and form new relationships outside of searching for a mate. In other words, more peeps who never knew the old you.
I didn't become this smart as you know-some of these ideas did come from the Symposium