Well, I am down to 39 days before my surgery. I just ordered my surgical vest today and should be here in a couple of days. This is getting so close and I'm so excited but it just seems so surreal at times. I keep thinking I'm going to wake to find I still have months to go. I am so ready for this chest to be gone and getting to see what the surgeon creates in its place. I just have to find out if my sister in law is going up with us the night before so I can get the motel room scheduled. I am still optimistic that I won't have to stay overnight in the hospital. We still have to stay in Cleveland the night after surgery but staying in a motel will be much cheaper than staying in the hospital.
I am so close to being me. It is such an amazing feeling. I cannot imagine not doing everything possible to become who I am meant to be. To still be in hiding would be such agony to go through every day. I talked to my nephew yesterday. I wanted to find out how his talk with his parents went and while we were talking I told him how it felt when I decided to transition and he said that was exactly how he felt. I told him that I was proud of him because I know how hard it can be. I also told him to never let anyone tell him that there was anything wrong with him.
Something I don't understand. How do you know someone for over a year and still think they could be mean or hate someone? I may be a lot of things but those are not any of them. I don't hate anyone, not even the hag and her joke. I may think they are a waste of flesh and not have anything good to say about them but I don't hate them. I thought being single I wouldn't have to hear that bullshit anymore. I guess I was wrong. It's such bullshit. But why should my feelings be recognized now, they never were before.
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