Surgery progress and other bits

I know I keep saying I am going to start writing more and I haven't.  I apologize for that.  I will say that if you are going to have a problem with anything I say or express here tough shit.  Don't read it if you can't handle what I have to say. 

I met with the surgeon and my surgery date for my top surgery is July 25th. The surgeon was really nice and I had such a great experience at his office.  Everyone there was great and I would recommend him to anyone that asks.  It amazes me that this is a same day surgery.  However, because I have sleep apnea they have me scheduled for an overnight stay but it will depend on how I do with the anesthesia and the meds afterwards.  I have yet to have any problem with anesthesia so I am confident that I won't have to stay.  My sister is going up with me and my sister in law also mentioned wanting to be there.  People come and go out of your life but family is there forever.  I am very lucky to have my family.  They accept and support me in whatever makes me happy.  I know not everyone will understand how important family is to me and I feel sorry for them. 

I am so excited about having this done but at the same time I keep expecting to wake up and find that it's just a dream and not reality.  This is so important to me to actually have a body that looks mostly like it is supposed to.  I wish I could make the bottom into what it should be but I don't have that kind of money plus I really don't want to have to deal with that much pain in that area.  There are other factors as well.  With the top surgery they will be doing the double incision method.  They will take a graft of the areola and reattach it then they also remove the nipple and do the same thing.  Due to the way they have to do this I will probably loose most of the sensation there.  So with that happening do I really want to have them take way the sensation downstairs?  I wish it were not like that but it is so I will just deal with it. 

Now for the other bits.......

Recently I needed to make a decision regarding my personal life.  It was not an easy one to make in most ways and quite easy in a few.  It was a situation where love was just not enough.  I was at the end of my rope and had nowhere else to turn.  This was an argument that we had multiple times.  The first time I asked my girlfriend if she was going to go with me when I had surgery she said yes.  When I mentioned it again she was worried about using a large chunk of her vacation time at one time and not have the time to do something later in the year if we wanted.  So to me it seemed like a big deal so I asked my sister to go and stay with me.  So that was a problem apparently.  Since my sister was going to be staying with I asked her to go to my consultation with me.  It was a logical decision.  I wanted her to ask any questions she might have for after the surgery.  Again this was a problem apparently.  My girlfriend took it that I was choosing someone over her.  Didn't matter how many times, and there were many, I tried to explain my reasoning it fell on deaf ears.  She had formed an idea in her head and there was nothing that would change it.  (Like many other things as well)

The final straw was the temper tantrum over where we were eating after the consultation and the route I had chosen to take to Cleveland.  I still don't understand the issue.  To decide on a place to eat without consulting EVERYONE that was going would be so rude.  As far as the route goes, I don't get what it mattered as long as we got there in time, especially since I was the one that was driving.  It was going to be my day and all about me but instead I am put in a position where I have to choose between people I love.  You make me choose and you are the one that loses.  Now I understand she wanted it to be special for me.  How can it be special when you are making me exclude the only immediate family I have left?  I hate to point out that I'm not about to be excited about some place that has really great beer.  Helloooo.....I don't drink beer and wings are good but they aren't something I go crazy for.  So now you have put me in a position where I'm choosing between people I love and you don't expect me to get angry?  Then you call me crying and expect me to just put all that aside and coddle you??  Really???  I did what I had to do.  I told her to stay home and think about the reason she wasn't with me.  All because of where she wanted to go eat. 

There are so many other little details.  Her lack of judgment in sharing personal things without my permission and acting like I'm unreasonable because of it.  Her complete fabrication of things my therapist said to her. (My therapist acknowledged that she didn't say what she was accused of)  The name calling.  The fact that she spent more time with her friend than she did with me.  Him being included in many of the things we did and if he wasn't included I had to hear about him the entire time.  I almost wanted to look at her ask if she would rather date him than me. 

It was those things and more that I finally agreed with her that we should just be casual friends.  I just didn't need that stress and drama any more.  These upcoming months need to be stress free and relaxed.  I will make an appointment with my friend and make sure that my Chakras are clear and my energy is flowing as it should.  There are some that may think this is nonsense but I don't care.  It works and I feel better and that is what is important. 

I don't want anyone thinking that I'm saying that I'm perfect.  I am far from that and I know what my limitations are.  When I describe things I try to be as honest as possible.  I will admit my mistakes and apologize when I'm wrong.