Wondering if I ask too much

It's been a very rough month or so.  As you know I have been dating Melissa for a few months now.  I would like to say here how great the past few months have been but I can't.  It started out good but IMO it has fallen apart. 

I am going to so something that I have never done before in my blog. (Or at least I don't think I have)  I want your opinion.

Things were going pretty well at first even though her friend Steph has caused some problems.  I have tried to be understanding but I am at a place that I'm not sure if we are going to be dating much longer.  I have explained how her friend has treated me in the past.  However, the last few times I have been around we have actually been able to coexist and even get along with each other. 

Now for the problem. 

Melissa took a new job.  She is working at Little Cesar's that is inside a K-Mart store.  She is a team lead and I understand (perhaps more than she does) exactly what that means.  She is responsible for alot of things.  Steph is still here and has had her truck repo'd.  She has finally gotten a job but I don't look for it to last.  Melissa's sister has taken a job where she is on-call which means that Melissa is on-call to watch the kids.  Our days off do not match, except we seem to both have Sunday off, and she is working more evenings now. 

I accept that we won't get much time to spend together but getting maybe 6 hours a week together isn't enough.  Melissa doesn 't seem to think this is an issue.  She has told me that she doesn't have a problem coming to my house because it is so much quieter here then at hers.  I have told her on more than one occassion that I will come to her since she has made comments about having problems with money and having gas in her car to get to work. 

I talked to Melissa the day before Sweetest Day (remember she works retail) and she did know what that was.  At first I get told that we aren't going to get together because her sister has already made plans for them to go out.  So yes, I was upset over that.  Then she tells me that she would rather spend the time with me because she is upset that her sister and Steph are making plans on how to spend her paycheck.  So now she's coming to my house instead of going out with them.  I come up with the idea of dinner and a movie. 

On the way to my house she calls me and wants search for cheap Bengals tickets so she and Steph can go to the game the next day.  She lays out almost $200 for tickets and parking for the game.  Meanwhile, I pay for dinner and the concessions at the movie while she stresses over spend $10 to get us into the movies.  Then we no sooner get back to my place after the movie and she is leaving to go home and get ready to then next day.  (Really made me feel like a priority)  Then the day of the game I end up in urgent care after having two major nose bleeds in less than 6 hours.  Only 1 time during the entire day does she ask how I am and when I try to talk to her later that evening I get told that she's busy drinking and will talk to me later.

I spend the next couple of weeks feeling like shit.  I had a constant headache, sometimes migraine level.  Now when I don't feel well I don't always like to be alone.  Not one time did Melissa even consider coming over to see me.  I missed two days of work and on the second day my friend Alex came over to spend some time with me.  OMG!!! You would've thought I did the most horrible think on the planet.  Melissa had the audacity to ask me if she was coming over to visit or for "something else."  Really???  I was so pissed.  Alex is my friend and not only did Melissa disrespect me but she disrespected my friend as well.  She said she was upset that I didn't "invite" her over.  I was so pissed and I told her so.  Hell, she has keys to my house, does she really need an invite at that point?

Then comes the costume party (which she forgot about).  After spending so many years with keeping my feelings bottled up while with my ex I have been trying to talk to my friends more when I'm upset.  At this point all of my friends are asking me why am I still dating her.  We went to the party and my friends treated her very well.  Now on this night I decided to drink.  I probably drank more than I should have because I was feeling no pain when we got back to my place.  When we went to bed Melissa had more ideas than just sleeping.  Now I have a problem when I drink when it comes to sex.  I fall asleep easily. 

I don't remember if the next morning was the morning she left early to go to her nephew's football game or not.  She didn't bother to ask me if I wanted to go with her.  I didn't see her any more that week.  The following Sunday she didn't ask me to come watch football with her.  Then I went to the specialist about my nose bleeds and he cauterized some blood vessels in my nose.  Melissa came over that night and stayed.  The next day I stayed home from work because I felt like someone had smacked me in the face with a pan. 

Now here it is Sunday again and again I'm not invited to come watch football with her.  So I asked her if she was sure this relationship was something she wanted.  Here is a woman that says she loves me but seems perfectly happy not spending time with me.  She always tells me that we should talk about our feelings but this discussion turned into a two week fight.  She tells me that she doesn't invite me over because of Steph, she doesn't want me to be uncomfortable.  Then she doesn't invite me over because of the kids (kids are fine just not in the house).  Supposedly she says she's looking out for me but I don't appreciate it. 

She allows her friend to treat me like shit and when I point this out she makes excuses.  Things like, "she's her own person" or "I can't control what she does".  Then is there ever popular "she treats everyone badly".  Then she thinks that I'm upset because she wanted to stay home and watch football when after all she has spent her last 3 days off with me.  She considers coming to my house and seeing me maybe 2 hours and then is kind enough to share my bed is spending her days off with me.  I loved this one "I'm sorry I have responsibilities".  My comment to that was "Boy, am I glad I don't have any pesky responsibilities." 

It went on in that pattern all night long.  I pointed out that she would be upset if I allowed my friends to treat her badly.  I tried to explain my friends know if they disrespect someone I'm with then they won't be my friends.  If I won't accept that from my friends or family why would I not expect the same thing from the person I'm with?  She doesn't get it.  She doesn't get that I understand our schedules suck, we both have things that we have to do or why I'm not content with the way things have been. 

The following night I text her and get told that she can't talk because she has to get ready, they are having a bonfire, drinking beer and scaring someone.  Notice I didn't say I was invited.  Again, we spend the night fighting.  I have always (in my opinion) been available when she wanted to get together.  This time the excuse for not inviting me was because I don't like cold.  Now I know that not everything is always one-sided but I try to take responsibility for any part I have in this fight.  But she keeps going back to thinking that I'm upset because she needed some "me time" and stayed home.  Never once did I say that was the problem.  I tried to explain it is a pattern of behavior of not being important enough for her to stand up for me to her friend, not making time for us, things like that.    She even brought up the fact that I got laid after the costume party and then fell asleep on her.  I never made an issue of the times that she didn't reciprocate.  I don't think that's something that you normally keep score on.

Then that Thursday she invites me to come keep her company while she's at work.  (That's quality time)  I tell her no because I have a business function that evening.  I get the same offer on Friday but again I say no because I have Mimi that night.  Saturday night I was supposed to spend with my sister but she bailed on me so I admit it, I sat home and pouted about it.  She chose to go to a bar instead of spending time with me.  Then on Sunday Melissa asks me if I want to come over.  I had to tell her no because I had to do my laundry.  (I had to work the entire weekend)

So now she tells me that she doesn't want to hear anymore about her not wanting to spend time with me because I turned her down.  I pointed out my pesky responsibilities and not to mention I wasn't expecting an invitiation because I haven't gotten that many in the past.  This starts an all new fight between us.  After spending the entire day fighting I asked if she was ready to say we both made mistakes and move past this.  I get the response "I'm over this week and was ready to do that after apologizing 10 times."

Since I worked all weekend and had to work the following Saturday I had two days off the coming week.  This was my plan, my sister was going to come over on Wednesday and help me get my apartment together and then spend Thursday as a study day for my upcoming test.  Melissa asked if I wanted company.  So she came over on Tuesday night and was going to help us on Wednesday. 

This is what happened.  My sister called me Tuesday night while I was in class so I went over to see her.  She has not been herself since mom died.  She has it in her head that mom is mad at her and that she let mom down somehow.  She told me she would be over around 10am the next morning.  Well a little bit after that time my phone rings and it's her doctor.  Sis showed up at her office very upset and she felt that she was having a nervous breakdown and I needed to come get her and take her to the hospital.  When I left to go to the hospital Melissa was still at my house.  Finally at almost 3pm I get a text from her asking if we are ok.  Sis asked me to not be confrontational when I had to talk to her boyfriend.  I asked Melissa if she was still at my place and she said no.  She left and didn't even bother to try and find out if I needed her help or if there was anything she could do.  She asked me what I needed at that point and I told her I would figure something out.  I didn't hear from her again that night.

Then the next day I don't hear from her until the evening and all I get is "Goodnight going to bed.  Tired of people here telling me to chill when I haven't said anything."  The next day I get one text from her saying how stressful her day was and that she has to retrain someone the next day.  I know her two days have been stressful mainly because she worries about things she can't control.  Never in those days did ever ask about my sister.  Finally on Saturday she asks me how sis is.  I admit I got a little pissy with her because I have just been feeling so alone in dealing with all this when I just wanted to have someone hold me just a little during this.  I apologized for upsetting her.  I told her it was a long week dealing with all of this alone.  This was priceless, "You're not alone, you have me."  She did apologize when I pointed out that I couldn't reach for her.  Then today she asks me what my plans are.  I told her that I was going to visit my sister.  Again she didn't bother to ask if I wanted to come over after I my visit.  She even got pissy with me when I mentioned that my Steelers beat her Bengals.  Then nothing from her the rest of the day.

I do have an up note today.  Sis gets out tomorrow and is coming to stay with me.

So this has been my story the past few weeks.  So I ask again, am I wrong to be upset?  I just want someone that wants to be with me.  That treats me with respect and and demands that from her friends.  Is that wrong?